It's Kinda Late

Blasting trance while writing an english essay the night before it's due is probably the closest I'll get to being high.


Don't do drugs kids!
On that note here's a documentary about weed prohibition:


This weekend, I made a runescape account. fml.


Selena says: so I'm going to a sc2 mystery theatre party tonight
^LOL WHAT A NERD....srsly



I opened my window for the first time since the beginning of winter today. The fresh air smelled so nice I decided to go for a walk! (wow!) It was a prty chl walk except I stepped in a puddle which made my feet kind of chl too. Then I took off my shoes and sat on a rock for a while. On the way back I passed this house whose outside lights always turn on suddenly when you walk by, as if it's trying to catch you by surprise. It totally didn't get me though.

I was listening to some 'experimental' hip-hop:
Subtle - I Heart L.A. (A New White)


hocus pocus

the best fucking game. ever. I used to play this all the time, back when I had Windows 95, and you could go to "dos mode". EXCEPT we only ever had the demo version so after you beat the first series of levels there was nothing else to do :( . but now...but now...

sample reaction when I discovered I'd found the full version:
  • OMG
  • OMG
  • !!
later on...
  • :D:D
  • im playing the best game in the world right now
  • nbd
Anyways, you can download it here. GLHF.



iTAL tEK - Restless Tundra (feat. Anneka) (Midnight Colour)
iTAL tEK - Moment in Blue (Midnight Colour)

That second one always makes me think I'm playing Golden Sun, like when you're in one of those quaint little towns on the ocean that have about four inhabitants and two buildings.


on the Colbert Report they said sprite and 7up have 0.2% alcohol in them

Apparently, some wine producers attempt to improve the taste of their product by playing classical music during the aging process. Something to do with vibrations. In the same spirit, a guy I know once tried playing Animal Collective's "My Girls" to his can of 7 Up before opening it. He said after that it tasted worse than normal.


Black Steel

Tricky - Black Steel (Maxinquaye)

Got a letter from the government the other day, opened and read it, it said they were suckers. They wanted me for their army or whatever...

627 days...

Holy shit 627 days til December 21, 2012, WHO'S SUPER PUMPED?
I wonder how the world will end....

Dolphin domination.
(You may want to click the image for a closer look at the intricate artistic details)



its microwaves and SARS's cake day!

nothing else to inform the internet of, other than I have my own magic cards nao.


Runescape is Communist!

Check out this scathingly insightful video about the communist conspiracy in Runescape! The next generation (via brainwashing of the 10-year-old male demographic) is slowly being turned communist! Eventually, they will rise up and overthrow our capitalist overlords (horrors!), much to the chagrin of rich people, I guess. Seriously though, the video kind of sucks, but I didn't really want to make an account, level it up enough to acquire the *spoiler* appropriate items and do it myself. Hide your kids, hide your wife, etc...but mainly your kids. IT'S THEM THEY'RE AFTER.

Karl Marx is pleased. I'm not really sure what's up with MJ.
Neutral Milk Hotel - Communist Daughter (In the Aeroplane Over the Sea)
This song doesn't actually have anything to do with communism.

In other news, happy birthday Kim Jong-il! Why does it seem like there are a lot less words in the subtitles than what they're actually singing...


om nom nom

Ads on my Facebook sidebar keep telling me about Kunstadt Sports and I don't know why - I don't even lift weights! But this got me thinking about, you know, sports; so here's someone we should all look up to: Takeru Kobayashi. OM NOM NOM HE IS A PROFESSIONAL HOT DOG EATER and is the world record-holder for being good at eating various other types of food...seriously how much more awesome can you get...

This one time, he took on a grizzly bear in a hot dog-eating contest...and lost. But it was still epic. Apparently, he's eaten several pounds of cow brains (wtf) in one sitting - isn't he worried about Mad Cow Disease? NO because he's just that badass...Also, you know he's legit, because he gets coverage on Sportsnet. For any hockey nerds out there, there's a picture of him on his blog wearing a Philadelphia Flyers jersey. Unfortunately his blog is in Japanese so I dunno if he was wearing it to be patronizing or because he genuinely supports this shit team. waitaminute wtf? they're second overall in the league? How did this happen? and (unrelated) Minnesota is just out of a playoff spot dammit D:

and if anyone was wondering what to get me for my birthday/valentine's/chinese new year/st patrick's/casimir pulaski day/easter there's this awesomecool Kobayashi t-shirt over on TopatoCo...yeah!

See, he's a REAL athelete



I challenge the internetz to make a solar system.

Circular orbits > elliptical orbits
50 planets > 1 planet

I could only make ellipses :(

link --> http://www.nowykurier.com/toys/gravity/gravity.swf

EDIT: You can't have a circular orbit.

- forktarts

I Heart Hockey

First post of February? Apparently. And first hockey post... But we live in Canada, I don't understand. I guess it's because SOME people are too busy lifting weights and playing HON to do the honourable thing and watch a few hockey games.

Disorganized hockey musings:

- I tuned into Coach's Corner tonight, hoping Don Cherry would amuse me with some inappropriate comments. He didn't say anything too outrageous, but he did start talking about those "foreigners," and he stated that all players who don't wear visors are tough. Right.

- Looking at the point totals of Brian Gionta, Daniel Alfredsson and, to a certain extent, Jarome Iginla, it's not a good year to be a Canadian team's captain. Just don't tell Henrik Sedin that, he doesn't seem to be aware.

- Speaking of Canadians and hockey, San Jose has a lot of Canadian players. They only have 4 non-Canadian forwards, and they're all American. The closest thing they have to a European forward is Dany Heatley. In total, they have 4 non-North American players (five if you count Heatley, which I don't): 2 Swedish defencemen and 2 Finnish goaltenders, one of whom is injured.

- Crosby still has no timeframe for a return from his concussion, and Malkin will likely miss the rest of the season with a torn ACL and MCL. Basically, good luck Pittsburgh.

- Angry Ehrhoff. I kind of love it. Almost as good as angry Samuelsson.

- I have nothing left to say, except how the hell is Nathan Gerbe allowed to play in games in which Zdeno Chara is also playing?



Bowery Electric - Shook Ones (Lushlife)
awesome track.
Also, I'm a big fan of the album art. I'd totally put that on my wall.


hardly working

I've clearly been wasting too much of my time playing this stupid game called League of Legends....I haven't posted anything in over a week, despite the fact that I've barely had class all month.

I read this great book a while ago: Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. I just grabbed it off the shelf at the library so, you know, pleasant surprise, etc. Especially because it didn't end up being the literary equivalent of a Beatles song. Also, turns out it got made into a movie that came out in Japan last year (as in 2010...not 2009..) and the internet tells me it's getting a limited release in March in the US/UK. No word on Canada obviously. The score was written by Jonny Greenwood, which isn't actually that exciting, since I'm not some huge Radiohead nerd. Anyways, I'm hoping this hits the screens in my piddly little town because then I can see it and feel really elite about watching a film in a language that's not English. or French.

In other news, I have a history exam tomorrow and I guess I should start studying for it or something...
Louis XV: King of France from 1715-1774, huge money-waster. He was the one who apparently said "après moi, le déluge" which I only find interesting because it's referenced in a Regina Spektor song. ummm he became king at the age of 5 after the death of his great-grandfather Louis XIV because it took him (Louis XIV) so long to die that all his other heirs were already dead. lol.


Mashed Potatoes

Speaking of galactically enormous...

I used to work at a country club where rich white people used to chill and stuff. I worked "BEHIND-THE-SCENES" in the kitchens. I wasn't a cook or anything useful like that, no, I was a dish-bitch. Theoretically I was just supposed to be the dishwasher, but in practice all the dishwashers became dish-bitches, because the cooks were so much cooler than we were, and we had to do everything they didn't feel like doing. That covered just about everything besides cooking so...

Chef walks in one day and hands me a HUGE potato masher, and then a HUUUGE pot. He then dumps a HUGE bag of potatoes into the pot.
Chef looks at me. He says "Forktarts, I want you to make mashed potatoes."

By God was that a traumatizing experience.
The pot was this big, true story.

- forktarts



guys I just ate a galactically enormous muffin from Tim Hortons. It was a nice banana flavour, not too strong or anything, with some nuts to keep the weak (ie those allergic to nuts) from enjoying such delectable 'canadian' goodness. ummm it was pretty good.

I made the album art smaller than normal because I think it's kind of ugly and didn't want to cause distress to certain viewers who were 'scarred' by the image in the previous post...

Handsome Furs - Radio Kaliningrad

Some wholesome Canadian indie goodness! It's all about Canada today...


EnjoyYourSARS annouces his return to tetris friends, nerds all around the globe tremble in their seats

With the announcement of my return to tetris friends, the sales on antiperspirant have reportedly skyrocketed as fat kids sit in their chairs sweating all day, waiting for the inevitable crushing of their highscores.



I uploaded this to mediafire because I thought it sounded really cool and that people would like it, but this was a couple days ago and now I don't even remember what it sounds like, but I can't check because I'm on a different computer now and I don't think it's on youtube. Also, I don't want to download it off mediafire or something because I don't like getting viruses; they make my computer crash :(. So anyways, I remember that it's electronic-sounding and is fairly upbeat, fuck now it sounds like I'm trying to make people listen to dance music omg...but yeah check it out, it's good.

Lone - Moon Beam Harp (Emerald Fantasy Tracks)

Just remembered I need to recharge my ipod!


if you can hold a fork, you can go to York

"a pretentious, Marxist school in the Northernmost point of Toronto..."
"An ultra-liberal post-secondary institution (though it should be called a high school)..."
"some important characteristics of this shithole:
1. Large numbers of Jewish professors and students, which explains York's strong left-wing views."
"York university is the dumping ground of high school dropouts and dumbfucks who can't get into other universities."
Man, it's a good thing I didn't apply there! I mean, check out how bitter this one guy is:
"Here are some guidelines for men if they want to be accepted by the students in that school:
1. Buy a cell phone
2. Buy expensive clothes
3. Look like you are in your 20s
4. Have to be tall around 5'9 to 6'0 is what they usually want
5. Be clean cut
If you do not follow these guidelines, numbers 3 and 4 are most important, you will be subjected to childish name calling like fagot, pussy, bitch, fag, little shit"

I checked out their club listings and there was one called "B'nai Brith OnCampus" except I read it as birth so I thought this was a club for giving birth on campus, which is kind of weird tbh. But they do have a ninja club which must either be extremely cool or extremely lame. probably the latter. No Marxist club, sorry.

Philip K tells a cool story

"Yesterday my dad found this HUGE chicken...like THIS BIG..."

One can only imagine what Philip did with this astronomically galactic chicken.

In other news, Philip vehemently denies watching pr0n even after revealing the fact he was watching videos all last night whose titles are "too embarrassing to reveal".
You can make your own conclusions.



So today, I was like "hmm I think I'll try out this LoL game these kids are always talking about..." and used my trusty google search to find the download link. This is what I've gleaned so far... LEAGUE OF LEGENDS IS A PIECE OF SHIT - and the dl isn't even done. Because I've had to restart it like three times. Am mad/need anger management.

Now it claims there's only 4 minutes remaining, so I'm assuming I'll be here for at least another hour. Should have just stayed with DotA. WAIT WHAT'S THAT? "LeagueofLegends[1].exe has stopped working." ORLY?? FUCK LoL QQQQQ. I'm tagging this with "so bad lol" because yeah, LoL IS SO BAD>


Cool story amirite?

So here goes... I think I'm supposed to shoot the shit while going in the general direction of microwaves (forks don't belong there).

Speaking of shooting shit, there's something rather addicting about putting a stupid piece of foam into a big piece of plastic. These nerf guns... I dunno, but I'm kinda glad that a friend of mine has a bunch of BB and nerf guns littered around his basement. Maybe something about fake guns gets him off or just lets him sleep easy at night (he has a blunt dagger under his pillow too), but it makes hanging out there a lot more interesting than just shooting virtual guns at nerd-raging teens who spam mic with unmitigated crap everytime you happen to knife them, when all you were doing in the first place was trolling and bunny-hopping and nade-spamming...

Anyways, the nerf-rifle comes with full reloading action(!) so if you really want to feel badass for a few moments only to realize a bit later that you're pathetic for feeling badass in the first place, go buy one. Try not to get too mad about all the time you're gonna waste looking for the stupid nerf when you miss and it falls behind your desk.

I think I'll go have a pop tart now, and I'll make sure to take the wrapper off before I chuck it in the microwave. Who toasts pop tarts anyways?

- forktarts


An Improper Intro

Apparently I should write a "proper intro", but we'll see if that happens.
Oh and congrats, microwaves, on the uni acceptance! (Y)
And also the summative mark, I'm super proud. But it should be noted that microwaves lost a mark on her intro, so I can see that that's her weakness.

While writing the last four sentences, I've concluded that a proper intro cannot be written, because I don't think we know what this blog's going to end up doing... So I'll just share one of the more intelligent questions I've been asked by a certain friend:

"[L]ast night we were watching tv, and it said something about the temperature being raised 5 degrees F. [W]hen we looked up the conversion to celcius, it said -15. [S]o when they say that the temperature was raised by -15 degrees C, are they just being dumb and mean 15?"

If you don't get it, here's a link to a Fahrenheit/Celsius converter, feel free to spend the rest of your night trying to figure it out.


yeah, got accepted into a university or something, prty chl. Also got one of my course summative marks back, which was excellent. So now I obviously don't need to do any work for the rest of the night. more time for trolling.

Vex'd - Pop Pop VIP
(Degenerate) - "sounds like ghouls dying in Warcraft III"
last.fm tells me this is something called 'dubstep'. not really sure what that's supposed to mean...!

standing in front of microwaves

I like to stand in front of microwaves. It's pretty fun stuff. I think I'll let the other kid who writes for this do a proper intro or whatever (if she feels like it).

Cool music: Blue Sky Black Death - The Era When We Sang (Late Night Cinema)

Epic instrumental hip hop; been enjoying this for a couple months now.